Wow, I just deleted two half finished posts from the last two weeks. The news seemed outdated. I guess it's true that time runs like a river, rushing toward the sea with all types of bits and pieces of your life floating and carried away by the current. But the little round rock that is me is still here, grounded and connected to the earth.
To catch up: I have been on a "pee watch" for the past 24 hours. One of my dearest friends is a senior lady, nearly 85, she developed pneumonia and went from the hospital to a rehabilitation center. Four weeks later, she is in worse shape than the day she left the hospital. She and her family have come to the conclusion that she will not return home but will enter an assisted living facility. At first, she was doubtful and said that she just wanted to go into long term care. Some days she didn't want to wake up and wouldn't consider the possibility that she could resume her active lifestyle again. Gradually with the encouragement of family and her close friends, she began to see that life was still ahead, just in a different form. I don't want to go into the treatment or mistreatment she had endured while in this facility but it has been a very rough four weeks.
Now to the "pee watch", she can not be released from the rehab until her cathater has been removed and she "pees" . She will also need a couple of days of "bladder training" to ensure that all systems are go. So early yesterday the foley was removed and she started to push fluids. Water, Crystal Clear lemonade and more water. She began updating me every couple of hours.
Nothing.
Not yet.
Her bladder was so full, they inserted the foley to drain it.
More liquid.
Nothing.
Maybe! She thought she might have trickled a little.
OK, all systems at go!
The last call of the evening: well what happens if I can't do it again? I assured her that gravity works and she would be able to continue this function.
This morning: YES! So now we wait until Monday to see if she is released to begin a new life.
I have only written the barest bones of her story because it is HER story and not mine but it is also the universal story of aging, environment and attitude. My friend is a spunky old lady with a clear mind and has endured a number of health problems without losing her zest for life. Yet, the past four weeks has pushed her to despair. In my opinion, her treatment was disorganized and ineffective. One "nurse" would tell her something and another would tell her something else. She tried to tell the medical personnel how she handled her diabetic lifestyle and was ignored. She was not even given a diabetic diet so her blood sugar floated up and down. Early on, she "pulled" a back muscle and was in considerable pain. Instead of evaluating her for muscle trauma, she was placed on morphine as needed for pain. Roughly two weeks of her stay was in a drug daze and, despite the administration of such a powerful medication, she never saw a doctor! She was reviewed twice by a Physicians Assistant.
What she had going for her was her family and a close circle of friends who monitored her progress and asked questions of the staff. Who encouraged her not to give in to depression and who assured her that at nearly 85, she has a great deal of good life ahead of her. I have been so concerned about her depression and passive mental state so when I spoke with her on Thursday and she was sputtering angry, I laughed and knew she was going to be all right. She is my hero and the type of person I want to be when I grow up.
As most of you know, Gordon and I fought the battle of Alzheimer's together for over eight years. During this time, I learned to question the health care system and advocate for him. I know the things that happened while he was in a less than desirable facility until I could get him out. I know that there are not enough "good" facilities because health care has become about companies making a profit and not about people receiving the care they need and deserve.
So while I watch the public battle over health care reform, I can only wonder at the politicians who stand with the giant corporations. Have they ever smelled a substandard long term care facility? Ever had a close friend or family interned in one? I wish that every politician would spend time listening to everyday Americans who have been caught in the morass as well as those who have been excluded from any care. As long as I am on my soap box, there is a great social and medical crises coming at us like a train: the impending avalanche of Alzeheimer's cases. But that the topic for another day.
Right now, I am just happy that my dear friend can "pee". She is now free to leave the present situation and begin her new life. To paraphrase a great American hero without any insult intended: "Pee at last, pee at last, oh my lord, pee at last" Ah freedom!
Light & Love,
Granny B
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I am so glad that you have been available to our mutual friend and her family for moral support and vigilance while she is sick. As you know, I became a caregiver in my late twenties. When all my friends were still getting married and starting families, I was dealing with elder care issues, insurance companies, social security, doctors, specialists, accessibility issues in my home, and all the other issues of caring for an aging, disabled relative. Now that I'm in my forties, I'm the "expert" in my circle of friends as they cope with the health issues of their aging parents.
ReplyDeleteI cannot stress the importance of advocating for a loved one of any age who is hospitalized or in a rehab/ long term care facility. Some facilities are wonderful and provide such genuine care and nurturing! But too many are understaffed, under monitored, and overly concerned with making a profit for their shareholders. What disgusted me about our friend's situation was that it appeared to me that this intelligent, spunky, and very independent lady was being discounted and written off as a "dotty old lady". No one was listening to her about her need for a diabetic diet (WTF!) and the pain and discomfort she was experiencing were not being taken seriously or addressed properly. It was assumed that she was just a senile old woman who didn't need to be listened to. Yet, she is an informed patient who actively monitors her own health. She is eminently capable of explaining how she feels and asking for what she needs. If she can be discounted and ignored then anyone can. She has had need of her family and friends to advocate for her, and she has been fortunate to have an abundance of both.
I am pleased that she is doing better and moving to a better facility where she can regain the independence she is accustomed to and get the kind of appropriate support that she needs. My experience as a caregiver has shown me that with good health care, appropriate environmental supports in the home, the assistance of family & community, it is possible to retain a surprising degree of independence in the face of declining health.
I am saying prayers for our friend's speedy recovery and thanks that she is one of the lucky people who has a vigilant family and an experienced friend to make sure that this trip to "rehab" wasn't her final one. If I make it to my eighties, I want to be just like her. She is my hero!
Blessings,
Kim
Granny B.,
ReplyDeleteYou are a kind and trusted friend -- the kind every one of us wishes for...especially at these critical times in our lives. I agree that this is exactly why we need major overhaul of our healthcare system. Keep sharing your stories to humanize it; you will help even more people.
I believe in karma and you have a lot of good stuff coming your way.
Bobbi Palmer