Fitting your round life into a square box.

Sunday, beautiful Sunday; time for coffee and toast, the paper, background music and scented candles. Time also to reflect on the first hurdle of online dating: completing the application! Over time I have been getting stray e-mails wanting me to join various dating services and I usually just hit the delete button. (I'm not really certain where things go when you delete them, maybe into some vast cosmic trash basket floating around in the internet universe.) Having experienced my epiphany in the parking lot(see my first post) and feeling brave, I clicked on the button for the service which I call "hookup".

This service advertises how they can find your perfect match based on their computer program of character traits, likes and dislikes, yearnings, hopes and maybe fears. They are also reputed to be a safe way to meet people since all the contacts are managed by their great computer in the sky. Why not! I began the process of completing their forms. Wow!

How do you compress 69 years of living into a computerized one form fits all? I enter and delete, sweat and say a few words, which if written would probably get me kicked off their program. I nearly cry, get up and walk away shaking my head. This is hard work! Many of their questions require you to choose your answer from their program of accepted responses. I am just not into mind games. I push and squeeze to fit myself into their program (anyone out there remember girdles?). When I think that I have done my best, I click the submit button and send my life and heart out into the world of computer dating. Part of me can't believe that I am doing this!

Within hours a river of men start flowing into my computer. At first they are local, within the Las Vegas valley. I carefully read and print out each new match, placing each life into a folder. Then the search widens and there are matches from California, Arizona, Colorado, Washington and Utah. Into the folder they go: paper men, paper tigers, paper dudes, papermates.

There is one fly on this banana. Until I commit and pay my subscription fee, I can only read and not reply to anyone. The service also needs/wants a photograph. Hummmm, I hate having my photo taken. The short, round and bountiful, silver haired lady with glasses is not who I really am. About the only comment I have ever appreciated from Barbara Bush was something to the effect that when she looked in the mirror she still expected to see the slender long haired girl who was only concerned about her tennis game and not the white haired matron with pearls. It took a while to get together with my MWDL (most wonderful daughter in law) and finally snap a few shots.

During the wait for photos, I did a little research on the net and found some sites which list discount codes or coupons for the "hookup" dating service. They are a bit pricey. During this wait a number, maybe half of the matches closed contact. They can only provide a preprogramed message as to the reason for the closure:"didn't have a photo, was too far away, was in a relationship already, other". I did participate in a "free weekend" of contact and responded to a gentlemen in one of our northwest states. He had touched me with his words about his late wife and what he was looking for in the future. I responded with the "canned questions" that are provided by the program and he responded in kind but before we got very far my free time ran out and he closed the match because I hadn't responded. I hope that he will find his soul mate but I have no way of reopening the dialogue so life goes on. I realize this will probably be a long road with a lot of ribbet, ribbet.

After about a week and a half, "hookup" sent me an e-mail with a "special" three month offer at a very reduced price which I immediately accepted. MWDL had e-mailed her photos and I selected the primary one and added two others. I'm ready...on the road again...stay tuned